Recently, I came across a post on ManRepeller.com that I just couldn't get off my mind. They asked their audience a very serious and really-gets-you-thinking-type question: What is the weirdest thing you believed as a kid?
After lots of thought and sleepless soul searching, I came to an exceedingly embarrassing conclusion. And here it is.
Let me take you to a simpler, more sequin-adorned time in history: 2006. To give you some perspective on the #ootd’s that were taking place during this era, it was a time filled with layered lace-trimmed tank tops, tie-up boleros and is the year Hannah Montana was spawned (nuff said). The chicest accessory my 11-year-old-self was sporting? My nightly headgear (you can’t make this stuff up) and bright red specs.
I think we can all concur that if we were each granted three wishes from a genie in a bottle, we would unanimously choose to ctrl+alt+delete the pre-teen chapter of our existence. Also, I can personally confirm that one of the leading causes of distress during this time is undoubtedly boys. And, according to my completely inaccurate and unscientific calculations, since antiquity, around 77% of women have, at one point in their lives, had a celeb crush that they were or still are unearthly super-serious about. Ask any Belieber. As for me, my imaginary significant other and the father of my hypothetical children was Hayden Christensen. Yup, I tenaciously believed with every part of my soul that I was going to espouse Anakin Skywalker.
I don’t know how this cray idea originated, but I can clearly recall Googling our age difference (14 years) to determine which year it would be most appropriate for us to announce our engagement (2013?). Also, I definitely extensively researched his background, you know, to figure out how our babies would look and stuff. I even created a cringe-worthy website dedicated to my most-loved photos of him (that my friends love to remind me about). And lastly, to conclude this paragraph charged with ongoing humiliating facts about me, I decided to dress up as Darth Vader for that year’s Halloween. It went that far.
The moment I realized there was not a chance in hell it was ever going to happen? There was never actually a clear end, I guess I just started obsessing over the next handsome fella who graced the covers of Tiger Beat. I reckon it was Zac Efron circa High School Musical. Even though this phase of my life is long gone, I can’t lie, my heart still skips a beat every time I see Christensen in that belted black leather Jedi ensemble. Cute, he is very.